I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~Arnold Schwarzenegger
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ~ Jon Stewart
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” – Jay Leno
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~ Johnny Carson
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. ~Rita Rudner
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~ Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants. ~Kevin James
We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. ~ George Carlin
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. ~ Ambrose Bierce
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